I’m totally not that big of a geek. I’ve never played D&D. Hell I’ve never even seen D&D.
This comes from Chris Hardwick’s book: The Nerdist Way. You might recall, I reviewed it some time ago. He asks that you chose a D&D alignment for your life. It will, apparently, help you make decisions. Plus it’s fun!
So here are our choices (all the examples are pulled directly from the book- I’m not that clever):
Lawful good, “Crusader” EXAMPLES: Batman, Dick Tracey and Indiana Jones.
Neutral Good, “Benefactor” EXAMPLES: Zorro and Spider-Man. I’d pitch the Doctor in this pile too, but some Nerds would shout that he’s more the next one down, Chaotic Good.
Chaotic Good, “Rebel” EXAMPLES: Starbuck from Battlestar Galactic, Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly and Robin Hood. My addition: Dexter Morgan.
Lawful Neutral, “Soldier” EXAMPLES: James Bond, Odysseus and Kiefer Sutherland’s mush mouthed marine in A Few Good Men.
Neutral, “Undecided” EXAMPLES: full time stoners or a chicken running around in your yard.
Chaotic Neutral, “Free Spirit” EXAMPLES: Captain Jack Sparrow, Al Swearengen from Deadwood and Snake Plissen.
Lawful Evil, “Dominator” EXAMPLES: Boba Fett and Magneto
Neutral Evil, “Malefacator” EXAMPLES: General Zod and Sawyer of the early seasons of Lost and Megatron
Chaotic Evil, “Destroyer” EXAMPLES: Carl Denham from King Kong, Riddick from Pitch Black, Darth Maul and Sauron from The Lord of the Rings
Here’s where it gets interesting. I feel I clearly come down in the Neutral Good, Benefactor alignment. But if someone asked me which group I wanted to be in, I think it’s kind of a toss-up between Chaotic Good, Rebel (which, FYI, Chris reasons the Doctor would be in) and Chaotic Neutral, Free Spirit.
It seriously made me stop and think. If I’m currently like Spider-Man, why would I choose to want to be like Malcolm Reynolds or Captain Jack Sparrow? It certainly would seem that Spider-man does more good than the latter two.
And I’m ashamed of the answer. If I’m being honest, I’m tired of being good. I’m bored of doing the right things all the time. I just want to have some fun. Malcolm Reynolds will save the girl, sure. But only because she happens to be handcuffed to the crate of gold he’s busy stealing.
Now, I’ve never stolen anything. Never went through a teenage angst shoplifting phase. (Full disclosure: I might have occasionally stolen a cigarette off my mom or a quarter off a table, but I don’t think that’s relevent here). And I have no plans to start now. But it does sound exciting.
My day goes like this: get up, write, shower, do chores, run errands, write, go to work, help autistic kids, come home, make dinner, watch hockey, write, drink wine, go to bed. You’ll notice that ‘help autistic kids’ fits in quite nicely with my Neutral Good, Benefactor role.
Short of, maybe, get up, drink wine, go to bed, I’d imagine that Malcolm Reynolds day would be extraordinarily different from mine. Would it be better? Is this a case of ‘the grass is always greener?’
Sometimes I enjoy my happy little rut. When someone asks me how things are going, I have a habit of saying, “Fine. Same. Which is basically how I like it.”
I’m not sure that that’s true anymore. When does the time come to do something that’s just for you? And how do you determine whether or not it’s selfish to act that way? If you’re so busy saving other people, who saves you?